Showing posts with label Death. Show all posts

One of the beautiful ones..

..



You have a smile that makes me want to smile. Did I ever tell you that?

It's been almost three years now. Can you believe it?

Happy birthday beautiful.. Still thinking of you, Aisha.

The wait II


So here we are again. Back to the waiting. 

In the last week, he had stabilized and been moved out of the ICU. I visit him often. Almost everyday before I leave work, I stop by to see him. He looks weak and old, more so than I've ever seen him look and sometimes he doesn't even seem to know who I am. But most times he's asleep. And peaceful. And i sit by his bedside.

But now he's been moved back. And we're back. To waiting. 

.. 

We didn't have to wait long. Almost immediately, the wait ended. And with it came a personal realization. 

I would have rather had the wait. 

Happy Birthday to my old friend Baffah!

..

Today should have been an old friend's birthday. 

Should have been. 

That he isn't here anymore doesn't mean that I do not celebrate the fact that he lived and that I was fortunate enough to have met him, to have known him. He touched my life - no matter how briefly. The first time we met I'd been sitting in a tree (this was back in my rebellious teenage years). It is a meeting I won't soon be forgetting. 

I miss you. And I regret that in last few months of your life, we hadn't been in contact more. But hey, we'll always have The Porter's Wheel and so much more. :)

Continued peace my dear, dear friend. And happy birthday. 


- J.

1037-271111

I just read about the death of one of my college mates. It's sad. Very much so. He was one of those people who had big dreams. He was like me. A few days ago he was excited about his new job. And today he is no more. I was in bed, sleeping.. tethering precariously between life and death. It could have been me who didn't wake today. And it still could be. My mother always says that the end of the year is usually when people died the most. I've heard of 3 deaths this week already. I'm sure that there are a lot more. May their souls rest in peace.

For Aisha..

I'm sorry it took this long for me to do this. At first, i just wouldn't believe it.. and then i got caught up in the crazy and (when you really think about it) insignificant drama that makes up life.

When i heard about it, it didn't sink in. Refused to. Mama called it shock. I simply didn't believe it. i couldn't. i wouldn't. But as the moon overtook the sun in their eternal dance across the skies, i had to accept the truth of it. It was like a horribly written and directed play. But it was true. Then came the waterworks, pain..
.. and regrets.

I didn't get to ask you why. Why you'd moved, and how you could stand it. (Medicine was only our life's ambition after all!). And then we said we'd meet. Next month, next year.. You see the thing with life is the uncertainty in its certain end. We should have done all of it NOW. Thought of everything in the present.

Your last blog entry? It gets me by. It tells me that you were happy.. even if it was for a frame of time. You were happy.. and cherry. Just like I've always known you to be. you always did tend to laugh in the midst of hurdles. i never told you this but i admire you for that. You gave me the courage to start a blog. And when i was feeling sorry for myself, you picked me up with your words. Now, that i think of it, i didn't get to tell you a lot of things. So caught up in my own selfish world.

Just about 2 months ago something died within me. you said it was gonna get better. You didn't even know what it was. at the time, regrettably, i didn't express just how much it meant that you'd taken the time out. I was in too much pain. Determined not to let anyone in.

When Georgie died i promised to learn to live for the moment.. Eat, love, pray... and not let my problems overwhelm me. i didn't keep that promise but with your death i renew it. InshaAllah. Every moment i'm alive i own to Him, and i thank Him abundantly for it. He protects me, guides me.. and i pray He does you too. i trust only Him with you now.

Rest in blessed peace my dear, dear friend. May we meet on the other side.

Now, I shall cry no more. No promises though!
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