NYSC

NYSC diaries: Community Development (CD)

January 30, 2014 J. 2 Comments

..
(I am pissed - Just a warning).

NYSC Crest
So I'm serving my fatherland. For one calendar year after my Higher Education I have to help my country by working full-time at a designated place of Primary Assignment (PPA) and give one day of the week to community development (CD). 

My PPA is The Hospital Labs where I am interning now. I was fortunate enough to get posted to where I wanted. Even more fortunate that I was accepted. 

Now my CD days are Thursdays and I chose to work with The Red Cross Society. I started only last week and it hasn't been worth mentioning. It was supposed to get better, or I assumed it would. It didn't. This week we were supposed to receive a lecture from the Director General (DG) himself at 8:00am. We were asked to be seated at the venue by 7:45am. The venue was at the NYSC headquarters on the 6th floor and there was no elevator, I had a bad feeling. 

My precognition was on point. Two hours later, still no word. And to make matters worse I got penalized for wearing black shoes rather than the appointed orange. Orange boots with khaki trousers, a khaki jacket and a white crested T-shirt - that's the uniform.

The Orange Boots!  >.<
The truth is I couldn't have worn the damn shoes if I wanted to because mine had been stolen during the orientation week and I wouldn't be given another. I didn't consider it a loss back then and I still don't consider it so now. 

I still don't think that I should have been queried. I mean, I came with the stupid cap, didn't i? And I was one of the few people actually wearing the crested t-shirt and khaki jacket.. Pooh, enough about that.

Anyway, there we all were. Sat in a small, crowded and stuffy hall with no air conditioning or lighting whatsoever, dressed in long pants, a cotton shirt and a jacket. The windows wouldn't open and even if they would, the temperature was in the 40's last I checked. Yeah, this is definitely torture. Some people actually started dozing off. How they could sleep in this heat I honestly do not know. 

At some point there was this awful smell in the air. The smell of mingling, sweaty bodies with no air circulation. Thankfully I had my faithful Chinese fan and 10ml perfume in my handbag. Saved my soul it did. Thank you Bvlgari!!! 

Five minutes before the DG's representative (he couldn't make it himself after all) and an entire news crew strutted into the hall, the lights and air conditioning were suddenly turned on. Spot lights, projectors and everything. This is what we Nigerians refer to as "eye service" - do your homework and find out what it means. 

The lecture lasted no more than 20 minutes. Apparently what they really needed was an audience and youths interested in an entrepreneur programme that had just been launched. Essentially they had wasted my time... and that of the other non-business oriented people there. After all this came the major battle to sign the attendance register (no attendance, no monthly allowance/salary). What I wouldn't give to switch my mini form with that of a 7ft Amazonian!!

*Sigh* But it's all done now. No one, NO ONE wants this to end more than I do. No one.

- J.

2 comments:

NYSC

The spot

January 29, 2014 J. 0 Comments

..

There is a place at The Hospital. A special place for me. I spend my break times here simply watching the flow of the place. Listening to its sounds. I like to think of the spot as the heart of The Hospital. There are paths leading to all the various sections from this spot. Like the center of a spider web. It is an ideal observation spot. 

I sit on one of the stone benches there sometimes and watch the patients and other medical staff. Then there are the auxiliaries. For this spot you can watch their comings and goings. Their interactions. The bustle and the hustle that make for a working hospital. 

Sometimes the scenes are beautiful. Family members crowding around a wheel chair either visiting a patient or about to take them home. An 11-month toddler with the energy of a hurricane (plus more!!) running around, squealing and giggling at anything and everything. I found myself feeling envious of that pure innocence. 

There are depressing scenes too. The sight of a mother fighting back tears as she wipes the sweaty forehead of her sick child and rigorously fans him to keep his fever down. The sight of another woman breaking down unabashed with her hands on her head, as she wails out for the loss of her husband... But for every painful scene, there were two happy ones to match it. Or maybe that's only what I like to believe. 

Take for instance, the joy on the faces of strangers at the sound of new life being brought to the world. Their happiness so infectious I had feel joy too even though I'd probably never see this already beloved child. I felt privileged to have just witnessed the sight of their euphoria. 

I've heard people say countless times that a hospital wasn't a place they could stand to be in. Myself? I've never really had an opinion. A hospital was a workplace to me. Nothing else. But watching when I watch, I've learnt that a hospital is alive. Breathing and kicking. We just don't care enough to look. 

My break time is probably over now. 

Juicy Raindrops!! 

0 comments:

Never apologise..

January 25, 2014 J. 0 Comments


.. For living your truth. NEVER! 

J. 

0 comments:

Redemption

January 23, 2014 J. 0 Comments

..

Elisa slammed her bedroom door behind her as she stomped in. She found a kind of savage satisfaction in the answering shudders of her bedroom wall. But as soon as the sounds faded, she knew she'd been wrong. Fathers are over-protective - it is part of their job description. She just wished that hers wasn't always so. It made her feel like she had a noose around her neck sometimes... But she knew where it stemmed from and it was a good place. One of true and endless love. Absently, she stroked the pendant on her neck which held a picture of her late mother and like she sometimes did, she imagined her mother standing before her. Warm brown eyes and short raven hair. She was smiling. She always smiled. 

 Already regretting her earlier outburst to her father, Elisa raced downstairs to make up with him only to find that he had already left the house. She vaguely remembered him mentioning an appointment. This was fine, it gave Elisa the time she needed to orchestrate her apology. First she changed her father's broadband password. Then she went across the street to buy oranges and fresh ginger so she could make him some homemade freshly squeezed orange juice with just a hint of ginger - just the way he liked it. 

Elisa never made it to the store. The car came out of nowhere. There was only a blur of motion, the squeal of tires and then silence. The EMTs declared her dead on the spot. 

 -------

About a week after the loss of his only child, Patrick Kindle, sank into the chair of his home office and booted his computer. His wallpaper was that of he and his daughter. She'd been only six, sitting on his lap and laughing like she hadn't a care in the world. As he watched the picture he felt the tears begin to form at the back of his eyes like they'd been doing since he'd received that God-awful call. He would always remember and dread that day. That moment. And even now, after the funeral and service, there were questions that still plagued him. Where had she been going? Had she died mad at him? They'd both said some terrible things to each other... Regret filled him anew.

He shook his head and opened his browser. He got the "You are not connected to the internet" page. He checked his connection and was asked to reenter his password. But no matter how many times he did, he was told it was incorrect. Finally he called the help line. A female analyst verified his identity and explained the problem.

"Your password has been changed."
"To what? I never changed it."
"Just give me a moment sir."
Mr. Kindle heard the sound of fingers against a keyboard and then eventually..
"I love you daddy"
"Excuse me?"
"That's your password. I love you daddy - no gaps."

And finally Patrick Kindle broke down and cried for the loss of his daughter. 


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NYSC

Jasmeen vs. Jasmeen

January 21, 2014 J. 0 Comments

.. 

I knew it was bound to happen. 
Eventually. 
It had to. 

There was almost no chance that I wouldn't be faced with this while working in The Hospital Labs. Not when he was admitted here. I looked at the name on the sheet again. It held the last results of the day. My uncle's test results. 

I hadn't done the tests myself but here were the results placed before me.. And the moral struggle began.. To look; or not to look. 

Was it my place? Was it ethical to abuse my position like that? It wasn't really abuse though, was it? 

Only a glance. I just want to know. The doctors were keeping mum. It was making me nervous. I needed facts. Those I could deal with. 

But my conscience nagged and  I hesitated. 

I glanced at the name again. There it was, in my hands, within my grasp. All I had to do was look. 

It was tempting of course. I wasn't hurting anyone. Just one quick look.. A peep, really. Five seconds would be enough. It really wouldn't hurt anyone. I just wanted to know. Then maybe I'd worry less. 

I started to reach for the corner of the file, ready to flip a page. In a few moments there would be no going back. But it would be worth it to know, I assured myself. I started to turn the page..

I couldn't do it.
So I dropped the folder and walked away. 

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NYSC

My first day as an intern.

January 20, 2014 J. 0 Comments

..
Wow, how do I even begin to explain the experience without doing it grave injustice?

Like a good little intern I was in The Hospital car park at 7:40am. I sat in my car, listened to music and slowly tried to unwind myself. I was a whole bunch of nerves you see. I had heard some of the stories. Interns were at the very bottom of the food chain and therefore fair game. So I prepared myself. 

7:50am
I walked into the labs and met up with my supervisor. He took me round the Chemical Pathology and Immunology Labs where I would be working and introduced me to the staff. I tried to take in all the names and faces as quickly as I could.. Mrs. James (pretty woman with long braids), Allyson (blue shirt, blue tie), Christy or Camellia (petite lady behind the microscope), Alex (speaks Hausa) and Kevin (got me a chair)... Wait!! What's my supervisor's name again?
Shit!!!!!

8:00am
I was left to my own devices to get "acclimated" to the rhyme and rhythm of The Hospital Labs. 

8:10am
I had walked up and down The Lab corridor so many times that I'd become entertainment to the working cleaning crew and some loitering patients. I decided to go hide in the Immunology Labs. 

8:25am 
I am bored out of my skull!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

9:00am
I finally met two other interns (David and Ayo). They had both started last year so I got the 411 from them. They both swore the job was interesting. I needed convincing.

9:30am
Mrs. James found my little hiding place and talked me back to the Chemical Pathology Labs. There I met people who were really friendly and finally, I relaxed. I was assigned to work with Allyson and Ayo. It was fun. Actually doing something was good. 

2:00pm
Why didn't I have breakfast again? And God these shoes were NOT made for standing for more than 2 hours. 

4:00pm
I abandoned ship. 


I learned three things about my new work place for the year: 
1. Mornings are slow and boring. The real action begins after 10am. 
2. Beware of evil interns who stop your spinning (centrifuge) blood samples to put theirs in. 
3. All male medical scientists are flirts. 


Yawn! I really need to sleep now. 
Juicy Raindr... (zzzzz)

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Experiences

The wait I

January 18, 2014 J. 0 Comments

..

We were all settled in. Tonight's family movie of choice was "Hitman". I chose it. It's one of the good ones. I put the DVD in and we started to watch.. Then the phone rang. 

I had been dreading this call even though I knew it would come. He was being transferred to another hospital because he needs a specialist, things have escalated and he is rapidly declining. We all rushed to the vehicles. Numbly, I noticed the dark waning moon as I got into the car. 

We didn't drive in silence. We talked about anything and everything. We rambled. 

As we got out of the car at the hospital. I looked up at the same moon I'd seen outside my home and I said a little prayer before walking into the hospital. Turned out we'd beat the ambulance here. So we waited. The waiting was torture. I tried to play only good scenarios in my head and then to distract me, Hamin (cousin) told me about the night he'd lost his dad last year. It wasn't until he'd reached the end of his story and I'd seen the glint of tears in his eyes that it occurred to me that I wasn't the only one needing the distraction. 

The ambulance finally arrived. 

As we walked into the hospital I felt my stomach sink. This is the same hospital where I am supposed to begin my internship on Monday. God, please no. We met up with the familiar faces of other family members. Cousins, brothers, aunts. In hushed tones we said our Hi's and in even quieter tones we asked how he was doing. It was still unclear. 

I knew what the outcome might be. I knew it. I knew it. But you can't prepare yourself for this. You simply can't. 

My heart is pounding. And my breaths are coming in short, uneven gasps. I feel myself start to sweat behind my neck and in my pits. I instruct myself to remain calm. 

I watched as he was moved from the ambulance to the gurney. I caught only a glimpse. But he looked weak and small. He had so many tubes and wires connected to him. I felt my hands shake. 

I knew what the outcome might be. I knew. We all knew. But that doesn't stop you from doing your damnedest for a man you've loved since you were just a kid. 

So he was moved to the ICU. We, the young adults, were asked to remain outside. The others went in. We were shown to the waiting area and there we sat and waited. At first, we tried to converse - small talk with mumbled replies. But then as if by mutual agreement, we all got quiet; each lost in their own thoughts. The silence was deafening. I felt as if time wasn't moving at all or as if it was moving too fast. I just knew that I was scared. Very, very scared. 

And so the waiting continued. It went on and on and before I knew it, it was past midnight. 4 hours had gone by like a breeze. Time really is relative, isn't it? 

We waited. 

A quiet hospital, late at night is a scary place. I'd never noticed it before. Or was it only scary because someone I loved was barely hanging on his life?

The waiting continued. 

For about an hour or so, I found a small measure of relief. The cousins, who were left sitting on a stone bench outside began to talk. We even managed a few laughs and teases at the expense of another cousin. I looked around at some point and realized that we were soothing each other with our stories and humor. Even in the midst of all that was going on.. The waiting, the dread.. It was a good moment. 

But then the silence returned and the waiting continued. I didn't like the waiting. It gave my imagination the chance to run absolutely wild. 

An aunt came out and notified us that he had been put on life support. No visitors - so none of us could see him till the next morning. It was past 2 am when we left the hospital. 

As we were leaving, I paused in the car park and found the moon again. I said another prayer before I got into the car and drove back home. My prayer was that when I stood in that same position in the morning, I wouldn't have lost an uncle. 

And so I waited. 

0 comments:

Sleep vs. Study

January 18, 2014 J. 0 Comments

Instead of making up excuses for why something is impossible, it’s far better to come up with reasons why it could be possible. One reason why is more powerful than all the reasons why not.” - Jackson Kiddard

..

So my internship (NYSC) at The Hospital finally begins on Monday. I am equal parts excited and nervous so I'm choosing to not think about it for the moment. 

I've been studying, well trying to study, for the MCAT and it's going. It's slow but it's going. Giving up my precious sleep hours is proving harder than I thought but I refuse to be deterred. I even found this picture to help keep me motivated! 

                          

Here we go! :)


Juicy Raindrops!! 

0 comments:

Meet my minion

January 08, 2014 J. 0 Comments

..

So I'm back home. Ah, Fair London.. It was a pleasure as always. I hope to return soon. 

On my last night in London, the whole family went to the Winter Wonderland in Hyde Park. It was raining and it was cold but we had a ton of fun. I even won a mini minion in a darts game.. Now I believe with proof, that I am an expert at darts. 


Proof!! :)
Anyway now that i'm back, reality sets in and it includes: the start of my internship, MCAT preparation and the end of my personal vacation.

I think my stomach just sunk.
Sigh.

Juicy Raindrops?

0 comments:

1 + 1 = 1

January 05, 2014 J. 2 Comments

..

Sooo.. I'm at it again. I'm trying another diet program. I know, I know but I've promised myself that this is the last one. If this doesn't work, I'm settling in comfortably into my size 14. I wasn't going to do this one but mama pointed out that all the rest I've tried probably didn't work because i hadn't been motivated enough. She's probably right too. As much as i wouldn't mind losing a few pounds, i love my body the way it is now, but that's probably the vanity talking.

Anyway, my parents just recently celebrated their 24th wedding anniversary and it got me thinking about the whole marriage institution. I am not a fan. Or more appropriately, i don't think that most people get married for the right reasons. Explains the insane divorce rates. Basically it seems that marriage, at the moment, is just another trend and I'm not a very good trend follower.

I'm a romantic. I love the extravagance of it all. And someday i will meet the love of my life, settle down and have a couple of kids with him. And it would be forever and always. But i will not buy a wedding dress, pick out my wedding colors, venue, stationary and the whole enchilada .. without a groom. Or fiance. Or even a serious boyfriend. i don't want to paint a picture and then fit my man into it, i want to meet my man and then paint a picture around us. But that's just me.

I know that marriage isn't easy. I've seen enough of the good and bad to know. The merging of two to become one takes time and truck loads of patience... sometimes with a stack of chips betting against you. But I've also seen it work where it simply shouldn't have (Ref: The Calvins). Like with all relationships, it takes two.

Anyway this one is for anyone who has somehow managed to keep their relationship/marriage going way, way, waaaaaaaaaaaayy past the honeymoon phase. For couples who have made it work through the highs and lows.. you inspire me.

P.s
Don't mind the changing backgrounds. I've had a ton of free time on my hands so I've been tweaking.

Juicy Raindrops!

2 comments:

Barely blossomed tulip

January 03, 2014 J. 0 Comments

..

"I'll never be perfect but at least now I'm brave. "


Juicy Raindrops!

0 comments:

His Vows

January 03, 2014 J. 0 Comments

..

I promise to bring you flowers regularly and without occasion.

I promise to be your valentine every February.

I promise to kiss you every morning.

I promise to spend every day from this one with you
And if i have to be away on business and you can't come along or if life interferes,
I promise it will be for only a short time.

I promise to exasperate you just enough that you get that cute little crease between your eyebrows.

I promise not to complain when you play the same song for days
or when you compulsively clean and polish every surface when you have a lot on your mind.

I hope you will let me in for I promise to always be the vice captain of your team.

I promise to always keep the cereal on the low shelves where you can reach it
And keep my Red Bull on the highest one where you never have to see it.

I promise to share my popcorn with you at the cinemas
Even though I know you don't really care for it and only insist to amuse yourself at my expense. 

I promise to always use a coaster for my drinks
but I hope you'll forgive me if in the heat of the match, I forget.

I promise to hold your hair back during those first months of pregnancy
And to let you call me any foul name imaginable while in the throes of labour.

I promise to let you call our first daughter "Cherry" like you've always wanted
But only as a middle name.

I swear to never be the source of your tears,
And when another causes them,
I promise that I will be there to catch your tear drops before they hit the floor.

I promise to read to you when you're sick or stressed
And make you hot chocolate with those little marshmallows, just the way you like it.

I promise to build you a bookshelf for your books
and to never let you suffer the agony of having to see the dentist alone.

I promise to help you comb your hair when we get much older and the muscles aren't what they were.
And I promise to always remind you of the difference between "onto" and "unto".

I promise I'll keep the nightmares away and the chills at bay
To support you, teach you and learn from you.

I promise to be, as you are to me, a lover and best friend.

This I vow today,
Forever and always.



Juicy Raindrops!

Dear reader..

January 01, 2014 J. 0 Comments

..
So today I did something that I haven't done in a long, long time. I reread all my past blog entries. 

Wow, it really has been a trip, hasn't it? Boys, girls, friends, family, school and just well, Life. And more crazy than I know what to do with. It's incredible that I can laugh at most of the entries now. Especially those about Ray and Rado. Who'd have thunk it? 

But anyway. I guess this sorta thing happens all the time. It's a never-ending cycle. Growth.

I like it! :)

I met up with Gretchen today. You remember Gretchen, don't you? She's my psychologist. Or rather she was. She attempted to keep me from going over while I stood precariously close to the edge. And I loathe to say this but hers really was the voice of reason. Too bad I never listened. Don't gloat Gretchen, because somehow I just know you're reading this. 

This is just a 'in retrospect' entry. I know that sometimes I don't make sense. Most times. 98% of the time.. But still you stay here and you read this gibberish that I write. Makes me wonder who's more bunkers - you or me? 

Thank you! - that's what I'm trying to say. I switched off the comments button over a year ago.. After Aisha's death. She always left me comments and funny notes. I didn't want to see any comments after that but I'm ready now. So please feel free to comment and thank you again for keeping up with me and my special brand of insanity. 


Oh and Happy New Year!!


Love, 
Jasmeen 

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