Day,

Dawn

November 27, 2020 J. 0 Comments

And for the first time I had the thought. 

What if I am not really two women? 
What if there’s just me.. and the woman I think I should be?

But which one is which? 
Which one is me? 

Juicy Raindrops! ♡

0 comments:

Experiences,

black noodles

November 25, 2020 J. 0 Comments


they had begun to worry and it showed
and i even felt a little guilty 
so I made an effort.
i even went out for dinner so they wouldn’t be alone
and i provided the entertainment again - as usual.
i played my role, did my part.
and as soon as she got the chance, she made me regret it.
twice, in one night.
so i am accepting my mugun hali
her september gift to me this year 
i will learn to say “NO”
even if i have to cut off my tongue to get the words through my pearly gates
but they will be spoken
and finally, 
finally, i will have peace.

Juicy Raindrops! ♡
091120

0 comments:

Day,

While we are here

November 22, 2020 J. 0 Comments


When two people are together 
Or have an opportunity to be together
Take it now.
Grab it with both hands and head for the docks
Sail on seas that will take you to your utopia and revel in it.
While you can.
But if you make the decision to walk away from it
No matter what your noble intentions are
Then don’t cry to me when the opportunity never presents itself again.

I was lied to before with words of destiny
And my hungry craving heart believed it even as it agonised 
Even as it bled.
The lie was the lullaby that put me to sleep
I held it close and cuddled with it every time the ghouls came out
Every time I was lonely, heartbroken and in pain 
Even when I began to recognise it for the lie it was
I held it still and let it soothe me with its false promises of someday
Until it got all worn down and tattered.
Or maybe i did.

Years went by
Years in which he found his mate
Got married and became a father.
With each great, jubilant achievement 
I wondered how then I would fit into the picture in this fantastical future
Until one day I looked at the portrait
I mean really looked at it 
Without the rose coloured lens of the lie
And realised a horrible truth;
There was no place for me in it at all
I don’t belong in this story. 
Not even as an extra or a footnote.

I stood there 
with not even crumbs to save or ashes to bury
Nothing.
As if it had never been.
It was gone, vanished - just like that
After romancing me with its lying tongue for years
It had simply left me standing out in the cold.
Years that had passed me by
Years I will never again get back.
All gone with the wind.

So no, don’t tell me about the destiny of patient love
I have no want or tolerance for it.
I believe in the here, now
This moment, this second.
So I will kiss you with wild abandon.
And run away with you on those high and turbulent seas
And I will believe you today when you tell me 
That I am your fate
That you will love me always 
I will believe you today, right here and now
In this moment, this second
While we’re here
While we can.

Tomorrow; any fated love of the future can sort itself out then.

Juicy Raindrops! ♡

0 comments:

0429/031020

November 21, 2020 J. 0 Comments

I watched “The age of innocence” today.
I’m still not sure how i feel about it. Maybe it’s because I see life through the lessons of my own life.. but I don’t believe in that “if it’s meant to be” nonsense.

On the plus side it inspired a few pieces. Watch this space. 

Juicy Raindrops! ♡
0429/031020

0 comments:

Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)