Night
I hate how it feels like you’re waiting me out
It irks me
It makes me feel like you scoff at my restraint by hovering
Like a waiting, seducing temptation
I ignore you and don’t talk to you
No,
You wait silently, patiently.
Because you know me so well
And you know that when pushed,
You know me well,
And I hate you for it
I hate you for what you represent
I hate you for doubting my beliefs
I hate you for attempting to break me
I hate that you have what I need from someone that’s mine
And you are not mine
And I don't want you to be.
Now in my 30s,
I don’t want to end up alone
I don’t want to have a heart attack, alone in my home
I want to pass away while someone holds my hand
With promises to reunite on the other side
I don’t want my corpse to only be found weeks after I pass.
And honestly, this is the reason why I hate you the most.
wicked proposition
Like you know I will eventually break down,
change my mind and accept your wicked proposition.
change my mind and accept your wicked proposition.
It irks me
It makes me feel like you scoff at my restraint by hovering
Like a waiting, seducing temptation
Like I am only putting on a show and
you are patiently watching for the end
Like I am a child that's being indulged
mollified, so I will not throw a tantrum.
And I am not even tempted. Not at all.
But it feels like you plan to wear me out
Like you are waiting for the loneliness to overcome me
Like you are waiting for the loneliness to overcome me
For that one moment when I will not be able to take it anymore
For a crack to appear on the surface
So you can swoop down like the vulture that you are to ravage.
I ignore you and don’t talk to you
or answer your calls for weeks, months
My phone always on DND and yet you remain
And not in a way that I can complain about
Or get a restraining order for.
My phone always on DND and yet you remain
And not in a way that I can complain about
Or get a restraining order for.
No,
You wait silently, patiently.
Because you know me so well
And you know that when pushed,
I dive head first in the other direction.
So you're not giving me a real reason to bolt.
You're just quietly undermining me.
So you're not giving me a real reason to bolt.
You're just quietly undermining me.
You know me well,
And I hate you for it
I hate you for what you represent
I hate you for doubting my beliefs
I hate you for attempting to break me
I hate that you have what I need from someone that’s mine
And you are not mine
And I don't want you to be.
And yet, lately
I have begun to wonder if this is it
What if this is the best I can get?
Because it means that I will walk away from what would be the best I can get/
Because it means that I will walk away from what would be the best I can get/
Now in my 30s,
I am beginning to hear that clock ticking and it scares me
Even when I don’t know its face.
Even when I don’t know its face.
I don’t want to end up alone
I don’t want to have a heart attack, alone in my home
I want to pass away while someone holds my hand
With promises to reunite on the other side
I don’t want my corpse to only be found weeks after I pass.
You tempt me with all these possibilities that you cannot even give to me
Even if I do break and allow you in.
And honestly, this is the reason why I hate you the most.
Juicy Raindrops! ♡
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