Change,

What next?

November 10, 2014 J. 0 Comments


So with NYSC ended now, I have got to start applying for my internship. I told you about it somewhere here. It's an obligatory year where i get to train in all the four major labs: Chemical Pathology, Microbiology, Haematology and Histopathology. There's an exam afterwards of course.

I have decided to not do my internship at The Hospital Labs where i did my service. I mean, it was fun and i did learn a lot but if i returned there now, i would only be doing the same things i did in my specialist lab which is Chemical Pathology. I want another view point, more teachers and more experiences. I have seen a busy government hospital, now how about a clinic maybe?
We'll see.

While fending off the dreaded "what next" question from friends and family, i have for the mean time become a culinary student. It’s fun and it keeps me entertained. What more can i ask for?

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End of an era

November 07, 2014 J. 0 Comments


I didn't want to acknowledge it.. but i knew it was coming. I knew!! And it has.

**Spoiler alert!!**
 
Naruto has ended and I cried. Can you believe it? I CRIED!!!  He has a son.. Boruto. And a daughter. And he married the shy girl who has loved him forever whose name I can't remember right now in my wonder and hysteria. 

HE IS HOKAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I didn't realize just how much my emotions were linked to this. Truly. Oh wow. I am so happy for him. I loved the justice that the author gave to it. I love it. I love it. And i appreciate it. So much. 

I am so happy and so sad at the same time. Conflicting emotions. But it's a generally good one, you know? There's a girl shown to shadow Bolt. Her origins aren't mentioned and i think it is sneaky of the author to do that. She has jet black hair, a serious look and girly hair style.. She is Sakura and Sasuke's daughter! She has to be - for they are the only ones not shown in this glimpse into the future. He (the author) leaves you to pick that up for yourself. Sneaky. Very sneaky. And very much appreciated. I can't explain it. As much as I would have loved to see the future Sasuke, they wouldn't have projected him well enough for me. Do you get it? This is so much better. Giving my imagination leave to do as it pleases. It's a gift really. Pooh. 

 Masashi Kishimoto.. Arigato! Truly.

Okay I'm done being a total nerd now. 
Really. ^.^
"The boy with the fox spirit sealed inside him was the son of the fourth Hokage. Now he is called the seventh Hokage."
- J. 

P.s.
Why is Straw Hat Luffy's pirate mark drawn on Naruto's forehead? As if they already know that "One Piece" is going to be my only solace now. 

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remember, remember, the fifth of november

November 05, 2014 J. 0 Comments


i do not know why this particular day has always called to me.. but it has.
so happy 5th of november to you.
may the ashes be only what is left of your oppressed sorrow.

i think i will celebrate by watching V for Vendetta for the fiftieth -or so- time.
it really is a great movie after all.



- J.

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3:01am

November 02, 2014 J. 0 Comments


 I was getting slowly irritated.
And it had everything to do with the blinding light coming from the gap between my curtains. Reluctantly I opened a single eye to glance at the clock on my bedside table. I saw the time and turned my head in the opposite direction to shield it from the penetrating light and go back to sleep.
About 10 seconds later I turned again to glance at the clock. It couldn’t have been right. The blasted thing must have stopped during the course of the night. I reached for my phone to check for the correct time and gasped. It read 3:00am. Just like my alarm clock had. Something must be wrong. I glanced at my window again and sure enough there was so much sunlight outside. I scuffled out of bed and pulled back the drapes. I had to blink a few times to adjust to the brightness. I would have predicted the time to be around noon, with the sun high in the sky. I turned on my laptop and there on my screen was the time tab. It also read 3:00am.

It was sunny outside at 3am. I tried to wrap my mind around that and couldn’t. Somehow all my time-telling equipment must have stopped for some reason. And then, as if to further spite me, the time on my clock changed. Now it read:

So it still worked obviously, it’s just malfunctioning. Okay. That made me feel better somehow except ten minutes later, and it still read the same time. And so did all my wristwatches and even the microwave. I conceded defeat then. I thought about the end of the world and silently sent a prayer up to God. I saw movement outside and realized that there were people moving about. I thought that I should probably go out myself and in the next moment, I was standing outside in the midst of a sea of people.

Okay, so I was dreaming. That explained everything and I began to relax a bit. I looked around me and noticed that the people weren’t walking at all. They were more of... drifting. Only then did I notice that only very few of them were fully clothed. Some were partially clothed and the rest, the majority, were stark naked. But no one seemed to notice or care. In fact no one seemed to be aware of anyone but themselves and they all had rather forlorn looks on their faces as if each one was wrapped in his own nightmare.  I thought to myself that though it was such a bright and sunny day, it brought no hope whatsoever to these people and briefly, I wondered if I looked the same.

I felt the hair on my arms and the back of my neck stand and quickly whirled around. My fear and unease were back. Something was not right, as if the lack of night wasn’t bad enough. Suddenly I was completely panicked. I needed to escape this place where everything was so terribly wrong. I looked about but there was just an huge expanse of land. No buildings, roads or trees for that matter. Nothing – just space. The building I must have been in at first was nowhere to be seen. I cursed myself for ever leaving it in the first place.

Okay, I am most definitely dreaming. But I have had enough and want to wake up now. I tried everything but nothing worked. I shut my eyes for a long time and opened them to the still very bright dimension. I was getting more frightened by the second. Faintly I began to see pictures of people drift through my mind. There was a very beautiful woman in the arms of a handsome man with quiet eyes. Then I saw a young boy who looked like his mother (I have no idea how I knew that but I did) and a little girl who held his hand trustingly. She was his sister and they were a family. On that thought, they all smiled at me and as they did, a sharp light emitted from each of them in parallels towards me. It was a link. A bond. Somehow I was bound to these people. I felt a little less afraid and just like they had suddenly appeared, they disappeared.

I glanced at the wristwatch I couldn’t remember putting on. It read 3:01am. Time still hadn’t moved since I left the safety of my room. I didn’t need a genius to tell me that I wasn’t on campus anymore. I realized that I'd been standing in the same spot for a while now and some instinct to move overcame me, so I started walking forward in the hope that I’d find something or someone. But as I walked, more images flirted through my mind. Some, like the family I’d seen earlier threw bright lights in my direction and others just went by. The faster I walked, the faster the images got until I couldn’t really see anything at all. The blur of images were moving away from me and all I could do was watch. It was like looking out of the window of a car moving at a thousand kilometers per hour; I couldn’t keep up and my head was starting to really hurt.
Then blank!
It was all gone… and I was on the floor, out of breath. I began taking deep breaths and found that I was sweating profusely. It felt like I’d been running but I couldn’t remember doing so. I also noticed that I wasn’t where I'd been anymore. Now there was just darkness and I was scared of the dark too. I don’t know how but I just knew that. It just popped into my head like a thought that wasn’t mine. Still panting, I put my hand over my chest to slow my heart rhythm and caught at something. There was a chain around my neck. I pulled at it trying to take it off but it wouldn’t budge so I gave up and fell back to the ground, exhausted. Then a faint glow hit the back of my eyelids. I didn’t want to open my eyes out of fear of what I might see. I was tired of this alternate dimension, all I wanted was to go home. Home? H.O.M.E! It was weird. I found that even though I didn’t know what or where that was I liked the sound of it. The glow got brighter as if ordering me to open my eyes. I peeped and saw that the light was coming from me, more accurately, from the chain around my neck. I held it up and could clearly see 10 pendants on it. There was a fairy with pink wings, a gold heart, a crown, a key, a 4-leaf clover, the letters ”J” and “A”, a strange symbol I didn’t recognize and an engraved double-sided locket. The engraving read: Home – where the heart lies!
I opened the locket and inside were two pictures. One of that family of four I’d seen earlier and the other of three youngsters – a boy and two girls. One of the girls had both her arms around the other two. She had a teasing smile on – she was happy. I felt my eyes sting and then a drop of liquid fell from it and rolled down my face. I traced the engraving on the locket and felt another liquid drop roll down.
“Tears.”
The word was spoken into my head but instantly I knew what it meant. I was crying! Whatever that meant. I touched the “J” pendant and wondered what it stood for.
“Your name.”
Again the words were spoken into my head. Name? It made me wonder... What is my name?

A third drop slid down my face and landed on the smiling faces in the locket. On contact, the word “Jasmine” was called out. Instinctively I turned around and behind me stood a little girl with attractive eyes. She had her hair pulled back in two ponytails and she was smiling at me. I got off the floor and stood too. I knew not who she was but I felt awkward. Those eyes of hers seemed like they could see right through my very soul. I tried to look elsewhere but it was still dark all around with the only light spot being where she stood, watching me. I looked back at her, our eyes met and for a second I would have sworn that those eyes were laughing at me. She knew I was discomforted but she just kept studying me like I was on exhibition at the museum. I wondered what she was waiting for and absently reached for my chain to hold on to it. I saw her eyes follow the movement and saw that she also had her own hand in the same position. On closer inspection I saw that she also had a chain around her neck. The gesture looked so natural to her... almost like she was concentrating where I was nervous. Silently she took down her hand and I saw that we wore identical necklaces, down to the very last pendant. I was bewildered but strangely comforted that we had something in common. I looked at her again. She was taking in my reaction.
I didn’t know how old I was but the girl before me looked about 8. Were we friends? Who was she? Would she answer if I asked? I caught movement and refocused on her. She nodded as if answering a question and in my head I heard the word “Jasmine” again. Wait, not a word but a name. I looked at her and saw that the name suited her. It was her name wasn’t it? It must be. I was confident of that. So hers was the voice in my head… one mystery solved! She looked down at her necklace and linked her finger with the chain, making the “J” pendant shine brightly in the partial darkness. And I instantly understood. J for Jasmine.
I picked up the “A” pendant to ask her what it meant but my hand accidentally brushed against the locket and it felt hot. It bothered me, so I reopened it expecting to see the 7 faces I knew were there but instead I saw a moving hologram. Or at least that’s what I thought it was. The family from before were still sitting on the couch like they had been but now there was a fifth figure. Female. She seemed to be urging them all to sit still. She held a small device I didn’t recognize in her hand. Firmly, she got them all in place and lifted the device and focused on them. A flash followed.  Glancing down at the product she saw that the two children had stuck out their tongues at the last moment and ruined her picture. Somehow it made me feel warm inside. She grumbled and urged them to behave and tried again. She seemed satisfied this time. I looked at what she held and saw that the image was identical to the one in my locket. She turned around then and I saw her face for the first time. She looked familiar but before I could remember where I’d seen her before the scene changed. Now I could see what looked like a bridge and there were three backs turned to me. One of which was basically jumping up and down like an over-energetic child. I felt and shared her excitement as I watched. She turned around then and I recognized her. She was the girl from the previous hologram! She gave her small device – (no, camera. Now I remember what it is) – to a passerby flashing him a watt-full smile and politely asked him to take a picture of her and her friends. A flash went off and again, the picture was identical to that of the three youngsters from the second image in the pendant. 

The pendant returned to the way it was before with the images unmoving. I realized that I had just seen the moments just before each of the pictures had been taken. These were someone’s memories. Mine? The bright bond-lights emitted from the images and shot out to me. Like before I knew I was bound to them and it made me feel good. Strong even. I saw Jasmine watching me with a smile. She shut her eyes and from within her another light shone. I knew before the beam reached me that she was unlike all the rest. She was bound to me deeper than them all. Once her light hit me, she opened her eyes… and winked! Then right before my eyes, she morphed. I couldn’t breathe or move because all 8 bond lights kept me in place. One moment I was looking at a little girl with pigtails and the next a young woman stood in her place. She had the same eyes as Jasmine – eyes that saw! The young lady was unmistakably an older version of Jasmine and more importantly, she was also the girl in the locket. I wondered if perhaps she was my daughter and I heard her laughter in my head. She put both her hands on my shoulders and held on. We stood there about the same height, faces at level and I looked into her eyes and I saw. 

She was me. Or I was her. We were the same. One! Through her hands on my arms I felt, saw, tasted… and remembered everything.

I had lost my way. Stepped into a world where dignity, loyalty and honesty weren’t worn. A cursed world where every minute was exactly like the one before and after it. Nothing and no one changed. Stale. Stagnant. So essentially time had remained the same. Unmoving. Unchanging.

The bonds I had made in my earlier life had found me. The girl I used to be had found me in the darkness brought me the light. When I had unwittingly left home, home had found me and brought me back. 

As I realized this, I sat up in my bed and instantly glanced at the clock. It read - 03:01am.


- J.

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