The colour of you

The Colour of You: Chapter 1

July 30, 2013 J. 0 Comments



...

I figured that since I've been writing more and more often, i might as well share. I did promise to share "Friends and Lovers". I haven't forgotten that. I will… alongside what I'm working on at the moment. Niggy's right! I need to be more productive and for that and so much more, the first one goes to him. :)

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
                                 
       THE COLOUR OF YOU!

For Niggy! Without whom this would just be another incomplete work rotting in the dark pits of my hard-drive's archive. I love you!




Allison Grey contemplated her life for the millionth time that day. This was her eleventh delivery that day and only two of those had been uneventful. She’d had six caesarians, two breech births and one induction. For some reason, they were short-staffed today, so she'd had to take on some cases that hadn't hers. Her last meal had been over 24 hours ago and had consisted of stale coffee and half a bite of muffin that was 3 days past its best-before date. It was simply of those days.

She hadn’t slept in 36 hours… and Mrs. Robinson just wouldn’t push.

“Push Grace, you have to push.”
“I caaan’t!!”
“You can. Do it!” Or by God, I will cut you open and take the child out, Allie added silently under her breath. She was about to ask for a scalpel when Grace finally started pushing and in no time at all the delivery was over.
Allie got out of her scrubs and got ready for home, thanking the heavens she wasn’t on call that weekend. She stopped by to see some her patients and the headed for home. She’d never been more thankful that she lived a walking distance from the hospital. Her apartment was ridiculously expensive but very worth it as far as she was concerned. She put the key in the lock and stepped into her house, took off her clothes, filled a bath and lay in there, finally relaxed.

Doorbell.

Allie considered ignoring it but whoever it was was quite insistent. Resigned she got out, tied a wrap around herself and headed for the door, contemplating murder now rather than suicide. She looked through the spy hole, only to see Goldie.
“Goldie?”
“Allie, you had better open this door or I will break it down.”
As Allie unchained her door she asked, “Is everything alright? How’s Black? And your parents?”
“Hey, slow down. Everyone is fine.” Goldie answered as she hugged her best friend. Named for her hair, Goldie had long gold locks all the way to her back. “I just came over for the weekend.”
“Oh!”
“You could at least try to look happy about it, unless you don’t want me here. Then it’s too bad cuz my return flight’s in 2 days.”
“No, of course not. I apologize; I simply had a long day. Come in please.”
“Long day, huh? I told you to drop Med School and join me in Fashion and Design but you wouldn’t hear any of it.”
“I don’t have your eye for fashion as you well know and besides I feel more at home in a hospital than at a fashion show.”
“I know.” Goldie said pitifully as if Allie had just admitted to having some degenerative disease. “You never take any breaks or vacations so I’ve come to force you into one. We’re spending two nights at Lakeside where we’re gonna eat, drink and lounge while being waited on hand and foot. You know we deserve it.”
“But…”
“Now, I know you aren’t on call this weekend so I won’t take no for an answer, Dr. Grey. We are going to your room now and packing a bag.” With that she stormed off in the direction of the bedroom.
Allie followed at a slower pace.
“Oh Allie, I’m struck every time I come into your room. I love the hues and contrast. It suits you.” And with that she pulled out a small suitcase and started tossing in various necessities. Allie left her to it while she pulled on a jumper.
“I guess that’s it for quiet weekend in bed.”
“Trust me, when the weekend’s over you’re gonna be so glad I came.”

Two hours later, Allie and Goldie were checked in at Lakeside Hotel and chatting excitedly about current events.

“She just wouldn’t push. All she did was scream and howl... argh!”
“You have more self-restraint than I do. I wouldn’t have just contemplated cutting her open. God knows I would have just done it.”

They laughed and enjoyed another glass of Allie’s mocktails.

“So, wanna tell me what really had you running to York?”
“What? I can’t come visit my best friend unannounced to surprise her and get her to have a little fun?”
“You can, but don’t make this about me. I’ve been doing this for 2 years. Seven, if you count medical school.” Allie stood and went over to Goldie. “Aurelia, I’ve known you since we were in diapers. What’s on your mind?”

Allie had reverted to her given name. Goldie knew there was no way out.

“It’s Black. We got into a fight. With his new company and then the expansion of the other ones, we’ve barely had a moment together in about 2 months.”
“I thought you were proud of him.”
“I am. You know I am. It’s just well, it’s selfish but I need him now.” She held Allie’s hands tighter and looked her in the eyes, “I think I’m pregnant.”
It took Allie a second.
“Really? But that’s great news. What does he think about it?”

At Goldie’s silence, Allie groaned.

“You haven’t told him, have you?”
“It’s just a suspicion. I haven’t even bought a kit. I wanted us to do it together but with his absence...” She shrugged. “I thought you could help. I really don’t wanna do this alone, Allie.”
“Of course.” When Allie got up and pulled on her coat, Goldie asked, “Where are you going?”
“We are running down to the drugstore before they close for night and getting you a pregnancy kit. Then we’re gonna come back up here and test you.”
“Now? But...” She bit her lip.
“Is there something else you’re not telling me?”
“Its just well... Black and I. We’ve discussed kids and we both want to have them down the road, but this is too soon. We’ve only been married 8 months.”
“I’m sure Black will be okay with it Goldie. You’re the one who seems rather hesitant though.”
“I know but Al, a baby? Am I even responsible enough to have one? How will I take care of it, what if he/she doesn’t like me, or I drop him or…”
“Hey, hey, hey. Slow down. None of those things will happen. You have me, and Momma and even Mama Black.” Allie added on a second thought.
“Hell no, there’s no way that woman’s coming near any child of mine.”
“He or she will be her grandchild.”
“Yea, but MINE… she never fails to remind me that her son is. She hates that I’m married to her son so I won’t let her near mine. Period.”

Allie sighed. They would have to discuss Goldie’s attitude towards her mother-in-law later.
“Fine. Put on your coat so we can get going.”
“Okay give me a second, I need to check my face. You should too.”
“We’re just going around the corner.”
“Yes, but you never know who you’re gonna run into.” Goldie returned with a grin as she made a quick dash for the mirror.


*** *** *** ***


As the duo entered the lobby on their way back from the drugstore, Allie bumped into someone. She looked up to offer an apology only to be hit by the brightest baby blues she’d ever seen. And she had seen them before. Quickly, she searched her memory and came up with a name. She smiled.

“Klaus.” She thought she saw him cringe.
“Dr. Grey?”
“Allison, please.”
“Allison. Fancy meeting you here.”
“Likewise.” She turned to Goldie. “This is my friend, Goldie. Goldie, this is Klaus.”

The two exchange how-do-you-dos and Klaus turns back to Allie.

“I was just on my way to see Becca.”
“She was recovering just fine when I left earlier. And should be discharged soon along with the twins.”
“Mary Kate and Ashley.” 
“What?”
He smiled, clearly amused. “Those are their names. Becca is eccentric like that.”
“A woman is never eccentric, only imaginative.” But she smiled. “Consider yourself a lucky man, Mr. Evans.”
“Unlucky, you mean”. He muttered, then, “Wait, ‘Evans’?”
“Yes...”
“No. Wait. Oh God!” Then he burst out laughing.

Allie was confused. She exchanged a look with Goldie who only shrugged.

“I should explain. Rebecca is my sister, my twin sister actually. Fraternal, obviously.”
“You’re not...?”
“No, I’m not her husband.” He was laughing at her.
Allie couldn’t stop herself from blushing in embarrassment. Klaus had been with Rebecca through every step of the pregnancy, holding her hand and such that Allie had assumed...
“Oh.”

Mortification was killing her and Goldie was snickering in the background. Allie was going to kill her.

“I’m sorry. I assumed...” But he cut her off.
“No problem. Though you must permit me to tell Becca. She’s sure to want your hide for that, Doctor. You might want to put her down.” He replied with a conspiratorial wink that Allie couldn’t help the smile tugging at her lips.

Goldie hadn’t missed a thing.

“My room extension number is 351. Why don’t you call me tomorrow and we can have dinner.” Allie was about to decline. He knew it so he added, “After all it’s the least you can do after mistaking me for my sister’s husband.”

Allie was torn and Goldie was glaring at her, silently daring her to say no. “Umm... Okay then. I’ll let you know.” 


*** *** *** ***





4 lab weeks in retrospect.

July 30, 2013 J. 0 Comments

...

To complete my BSc final year project, i had to spend 4 weeks in the lab working on a chosen subject title based on my specialisation. Mine was the functional analysis of the non coding RNA, PRINS, and the role of TWEAK in cell-arrested keratinocytes.

In those four weeks, I ran more PCRs and electrophoresis gels than I care to count, extracted more RNA and protein samples than you care to know and made so much Towbin's and SDS running buffer that by the 2nd week i could make them without the use of my lab book. I had salt on my brow in Bradford's ice-cold winter. I was on a first name basis with all my lab technicians and even made a couple of very good friends among them. I got into labs at 9am and left at 5pm every weekday.

During the first and second week, I simply crashed when I walked through my front door at approximately 5:30pm, only to wake up at 7am and do it all again. I lost sleep and mass over the lab period. I had weeping jags and moments when I felt very, very incompetent. But I also had moments of elation. I watched my cDNA samples come alive as bands on the gel doc system and I felt pride on viewing the florescent marker on my western blot (finally) take form. I actually printed off a copy of the picture and showed it around, after which I pasted it in my self-assigned locker. I might have even named it. I believe it was the same feeling a parent had when her child, her pride and joy, succeeds at a task. It is proof that all the time spent caring for and nurturing it, patiently, hadn't been a waste of time and resources.

While my soles hurt and I left my sedentary lifestyle behind, I laughed long and hard at the jokes Ellie and Habib always had to share and also at Tom's "bursts of gay". I shared my anxiety with Maria and Dr. B helped me grow as a scientist and as a person too. He was open enough that I could share my ideas with him and i never got shot down for them, not even for the crazy ones. It increased my confidence in the lab and I learned to take the initiative and follow my ideas through.

It totally paid off, of course! My project mark was a first and i had Dr. B personally congratulate me for that. I take is as a personal victory that he enjoyed reading my paper. That those 2 extra weeks, post-lab period, that i'd spent researching articles, learning to use Endnote, worrying, not sleeping and then worrying some more hadn't been a complete wasn't of time.

Yea, so in retrospect, my 4 lab weeks were totally awesome! In no small part thanks to the people i spent it with. From my supervisor to the lab techs.. Thank you is hardly enough.


Juicy Raindrops!

Forgotten Lyrics

July 30, 2013 J. 0 Comments


This is not a love song.
I don’t even remember the lyrics.

I was just a girl who wore her heart on her sleeve
And you were there.
The leaves had just turned green again,
The daffodils were blossoming.
We started out as a friends
And then the romance bloomed.
But all too quick, it turned cold again
And just like that, you weren't there anymore.



I can still see your face
The way you looked as you drove away
Not even sparing me a backward glance.
Now you want me but I will not reconsider.
For our love is a song 
whose lyrics I have forgotten. 



If you hadn’t hurt me and left me
I wouldn’t be where I am today.
Whether I knew it then or not
You were holding me back.
Now I’m going higher than ever before
Reaching for heights beyond my dreams.
And I gotta tell ya, the view’s great!


You made me strong, a fighter, a survivor.
In the words of Skyy:
"I wanna thank you baby,
Thank, thank you, baby.
Thank you, thank you!!"

I will always remember you
But the lyrics to our song, I have long since forgotten.



Juicy Raindrops! 

1820/270713

July 28, 2013 J. 0 Comments


...

I have opened several word documents only to close them blank. Not that I have nothing to write but I just didn’t have the inclination to. Today, I woke up like I would every other Sunday afternoon. Normalcy. But it just changed. Today is different. Today I wrote. Or I’m writing. I still don’t know where this is leading to but it feels like home. It feels so natural. When I shut my eyes I can actually hear the sounds of the gentle wind and the steady beat of my own heart. This right here is bliss! The snow has thawed and melted as has my frozen heart, the tears flow free and easy now.. Perhaps going with the theme, I have dreamt of him for the second time in a row. This baffles me and at the same time I don’t want to make too big of a deal out of it. Irrational and suicidal? Now where have we heard that before? My emotions are breaking free too. If I weren’t trying to counter effect I would have been proud.
Somewhere between the crazy cold and the crazy heat (the weather has been crazy hasn't it?) I graduated, realised I was in love and changed continents. Yap, it's been a long time. But I'm growing again. Changing. And I am less busy so I will write more. I've been away for a while but I'm back now. My writing style has changed too. I'm a little less dramatic than I used to be, but I still have tons to tell about the insanity that surrounds me. The good, the bad and the oh-no-you-didn't! I will be taking down some of my previous entries so I can create space and way for the present. Clean slate. And maybe it's time I named the blog too. We'll see. 

Happy reading. 



Love,

Jasmeen Marie. 
Graduation

Update

July 27, 2013 J. 0 Comments

Another figurine to add to my collection. 



Juicy Raindrops!

0 comments:

Violet & Jack

July 27, 2013 J. 0 Comments

...

Gently, Violet removed his hands from her shoulders and turned away. She didn't want him to see the play of emotions on her face. After a declaration like the one he'd just made, she was starting to think that maybe, just maybe, they really could work it out. Maybe he really had changed. Maybe he would no longer take her and her feelings for granted. 3 months apart had done the trick. Or had it? 

Still facing away from him, she asked him a question. "What colour are my eyes?"

There was no reply. He remained silent for so long she thought he wasn't going to answer. Every second that went by was just proof to her that he hadn't changed at all. She waited for his answer, there was none. She felt her phone vibrate in her pocket but still there was no answer from the man standing behind her. She was about to walk away when he said, "You have the most amazing blue eyes I have ever seen."

Violet's breath caught in her throat. But he continued, "They remind me of the ocean and it becomes instantly apparent why many a man would choose to spend their lives in the bosom of the sea. For who wouldn't want to lay humble and worship before such an altar? When you get mad, grey overshadows blue, like thunderclouds right before a storm. And always, it is a sight to behold. But an even bigger sight is when those same eyes gaze upon me with adoration... like an arrow shot right into my soul. I would die blissfully under their light."

While he'd spoken, tears had fall from Violet's eyes. When he ended, she replied without turning, "That was beautiful. So much so that it was heartbreaking. So why don't you find this blue-eyed girl and maybe say all this to her instead? Have a good life Jack."

With that she fled. She hadn't gone too far when she pulled out to her phone to call her mother. She had been the one to convince Violet to see Jack today.. Only to get her heart broken all over again. 

Violet noticed the red blinking light on her phone. A new message. 
She vaguely remembered the vibration from earlier. She'd been too focused on Jack's words to react then. 
She tapped her screen. 
It was from Jack. 
Even as she thought about deleting it, she opened it. 
She read it. Then read it again. 
It couldn't be.
There were only four words: 

You have brown eyes. 


Juicy Raindrops! ♡