Life can be so unfortunate sometimes. I just went on FB and read the most heartwarming status made my Lola for the brother she lost on this very day 2 years ago. Then right underneath it was some guy talking about how he liked ‘it’ in the back seat of a tinted car. I almost deleted him in my rage but then I sobered. It wasn’t his fault. Not really. We don’t know pain or loss until we are faced with it. Until it burns us to the very core of our being and we hurt so much that we beg for death as a reprieve. Believe me,  it is the worst feeling.

I was in a mood so I went along (reading status updates) when I saw this:

“This world, is only but a temporary accommodation + mere delusion. Indeed man is ungrateful to his Lord. This he shall know, on the day of recompense.”

And for a while I simply sat there thinking about how seriously we take this life. The same Life whose only certainty is the one in its end. I thought about our world today and  it didn’t make sense. Why the lies? Why the greed and the war? What’s the ultimate goal?

Why the incessant fear and thirst for power? Why the need to intimidate your fellow man? For mere superiority? A truly superior being isn’t the one who puts fear into the hearts of men. All tyrants fall.

Why fight with good friends over silly things and end up not talking for years? Why hate someone who has everything you’ve ever wanted? Why not look around and realize that all that you truly need, you have. Otherwise you wouldn’t be alive at this very moment. Appreciate it and thank The Being responsible.

What is the point of loving in secret when you could simply say it? What if they died this very day? Would you spend a eternity thinking ‘what if?” ? What could truly be more tragic than that? If they’re with someone else then they weren’t yours to begin with. Don’t destroy another’s happiness. Find your soul mate. There are apprx 7 billion people on earth, I’m sure there’s one person for you.

Help a stranger. He could be the best friend, you’d ever have. He could also put a bullet through your head of course but your intentions would have been true. Walk away and you could find yourself in reversed roles sometime in the future. And he will recognize you. Believe me, Karma never misses a chance to make a point.

People will hurt you, betray you, and disappoint you. They will leave you when you think that you need them most. But they cannot break you, not unless you let them. We are a strong race. We have survived extinction for thousands of years. We have survived hurricanes and earthquakes. We are survivors. You will survive. And if you ever contemplate hurting another, remember how it felt when it was you.

Put your heart into things that matter to you and do your best. Perhaps it’s your undergrad degree, or a new car, or that job promotion you’ve always wanted. Work for it! Deserve it!

Contentment is a state of mind. Be content!

Face your fears and overcome them or you will crumble before them. Death kills you once; fear does it over and over again. And each time it takes away a vital piece of your soul. So ‘Keep calm and love life’.

Belief in oneself is the greatest power at your disposal. Attain it and don’t let anyone take it from you. You can do anything if you believe it. Believe in possibilities, Dream in colour!

Essentially just eat, pray and love. And you’ll be the happiest you, you can be. Life is way too short and is already complicated enough without your help. Just let go! 

x x x

M.J Hartley 

You would think that i would've learned by now but it's always so easy to believe what we want to be true, isn't it? Don't mind me. I've been thinking again. It's Wednesday already. I have only 2 days of reading week left and i didn't start any real work till today. *sigh*

Anyway because i was being dramatic(?) and also getting caught up with me, i didn't call Mama and as such didn't know that she'd been ill. Needless to say, i felt like a total heel. I would've done anything she asked and she knew it so she asked that i call Ray.
I did.
We talked.
We laughed.
We sobered.
It was actually good for me. I will love him always. I've always known that. Now, i'm okay with it. He's still one of the best people i know. And one of the few that i know genuinely care about me.. even if i tend to forget it sometimes! :)

Rado and i have fallen into new pattern. And we aren't fighting anymore. We are.. us! That's all there really is to it. MO and i have been as crazy as always. Apparently he'd gone to a lingerie party and was almost raped. I laughed long and hard of course.

I'm studying again and content with all that i am. I have found my inner peace. I have great friends and an awesome family! I'm doing what i love.. everyday. Seriously, I am blessed! I have all i need! MashaAllah!

{Oh! And i didn't tell you about my Eid Dinner! It was a success! :) Will put a picture up when i have a stronger internet connection.}

Tonight, mine is gonna be the window with the lights on as i burn out all my night oil!