Growth,
I have decided to not apply for Medical School after all.
God, going to medical school and becoming a doctor is all i have known for a very long time and now, it isn't what i seem to want anymore. My decision doesn't stem from any sort or form of under-confidence. I am too self-assured (vain?) for that but I do have other reasons:
1. Biomedical Science:
I didn't intend to, believe me, it just hit me but i am in love with Biomed. I love what i do, what i learn, the critical thinking, the frustrating hours, even immunology! Biomed was initially just a means to an end for me.. with the end being Medicine of course. I had been too immature and unprepared to tackle it at 18. Biomed was suppose to give me the experience, growth and confidence i needed, but in the end i wound up falling for it, i love it! Biomed is a laid-back kind of course but at the same time not boring, which makes it almost tailor-cut for me.
2. Hard work:
I am honest enough to admit that i am a lazy bum. Okay that's incorrect but i have thought about the work involved in pursuing a career in medicine. I have listened to med students and residents alike. Read blogged accounts of those who are going through and those who have gone through it. I envisioned myself in that position and well, it wasn't a pretty image. Not that i ever expected it to be one. But it was more gruesome and demoralizing than i had initially thought. I am in a very precarious state of sanity as it is (hence the psych-ward breakout), i fear that if i put that kind of pressure on myself, i would eventually go over the deep end.
What i have learned from my rather limited survey is that brains alone won't get me through med school. Med school (as i understand it) is 70% hard work, 30% brilliance. I'd have to put in 102% of myself all the time for 4 years. I don't mind the time range, it's the work FORCE that inhibits me. I do work hard for things i want, but sometimes not hard enough. I don't want this to be one of those cases. Plus, i have so many plans for my biomed degree too, ISA.
This is all so much easier to talk about than I'd initially thought. I am not sad. I feel empowered that i was able to make such a huge decision for myself.. and a huge one, it is! I am not a failure. I am just wiser and more insightful than i once was. At first it felt like i was letting go of a major part of me but then i realized that i was substituting one dream for another. Paving the way for change and hopefully better things. Kind of like letting go of Ray; it was needed for my growth and development. Ha, ha! Perhaps i may have grown after all (just not taller, still the height of an average 14-year old boy). *sigh*
There is no 'right' choice i believe. but if there were one, i hope i have made it.
Juicy RainDrops! ♡
P.s
I got into my final year specialization option - Medical Biochemistry. And my grades were really, really good too (way above average). i guess i really can achieve things when i put my back into it.
To be; Or not to be
Speaking of life changing decisions, there's a topic i have been hesitant to address - My future career, which isn't so future anymore. Next year i will be done with Biomed ISA. Now, I've thought really long and hard about this.. and i hope that i have made the right decision. Bomb-shell alert!I have decided to not apply for Medical School after all.
God, going to medical school and becoming a doctor is all i have known for a very long time and now, it isn't what i seem to want anymore. My decision doesn't stem from any sort or form of under-confidence. I am too self-assured (vain?) for that but I do have other reasons:
1. Biomedical Science:
I didn't intend to, believe me, it just hit me but i am in love with Biomed. I love what i do, what i learn, the critical thinking, the frustrating hours, even immunology! Biomed was initially just a means to an end for me.. with the end being Medicine of course. I had been too immature and unprepared to tackle it at 18. Biomed was suppose to give me the experience, growth and confidence i needed, but in the end i wound up falling for it, i love it! Biomed is a laid-back kind of course but at the same time not boring, which makes it almost tailor-cut for me.
2. Hard work:
I am honest enough to admit that i am a lazy bum. Okay that's incorrect but i have thought about the work involved in pursuing a career in medicine. I have listened to med students and residents alike. Read blogged accounts of those who are going through and those who have gone through it. I envisioned myself in that position and well, it wasn't a pretty image. Not that i ever expected it to be one. But it was more gruesome and demoralizing than i had initially thought. I am in a very precarious state of sanity as it is (hence the psych-ward breakout), i fear that if i put that kind of pressure on myself, i would eventually go over the deep end.
What i have learned from my rather limited survey is that brains alone won't get me through med school. Med school (as i understand it) is 70% hard work, 30% brilliance. I'd have to put in 102% of myself all the time for 4 years. I don't mind the time range, it's the work FORCE that inhibits me. I do work hard for things i want, but sometimes not hard enough. I don't want this to be one of those cases. Plus, i have so many plans for my biomed degree too, ISA.
This is all so much easier to talk about than I'd initially thought. I am not sad. I feel empowered that i was able to make such a huge decision for myself.. and a huge one, it is! I am not a failure. I am just wiser and more insightful than i once was. At first it felt like i was letting go of a major part of me but then i realized that i was substituting one dream for another. Paving the way for change and hopefully better things. Kind of like letting go of Ray; it was needed for my growth and development. Ha, ha! Perhaps i may have grown after all (just not taller, still the height of an average 14-year old boy). *sigh*
There is no 'right' choice i believe. but if there were one, i hope i have made it.
Juicy RainDrops! ♡
P.s
I got into my final year specialization option - Medical Biochemistry. And my grades were really, really good too (way above average). i guess i really can achieve things when i put my back into it.