Case of the ex
Now I'm sitting across from the love of my life watching his throat work as he obviously tries to work up how to tell me what he wanted to. I contemplated making it difficult for him but then I remembered that I have loved this boy since I was 17. And these last 6 months without him in my life have been absolute torture. So I placed one of my hands on his and prompted. He smiled. "You know me too well" he says and it's my turn to smile. He put his hand in his coat pocket and pulled out a velvet box. I stared at it as my breath caught then I both prayed and dreaded that it would be earrings. But he flipped it open and there sitting cozily in the center was a ring. An extremely beautiful ring. And then he said, "I think I've found the woman I am going to marry."
I felt so many things at once but at the forefront I recognized elation and happiness. I had grown up with this boy. Seen him change from boy to man and loved him every step of the way. First as a friend and brother than as a friend and lover.. We blew spitballs together, got grounded together, fought with each other and then made up a million times before. And here he was presenting me with a ring.. "She doesn't know it yet of course and I'm afraid she'll think that 4 months isn't enough time, you know? But I know she is the one, I just know it..."
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I woke up the next morning with a splitting headache. The sound of my alarm clock sounded like the bells of Notre Dame resided within my very skull. I wondered if I had finally broken my own rule and had alcohol. I'd swore I never would after dissecting an alcoholic liver in college once. Personal decision and I have never been tempted once. So why the headache? For a few moments I just lay there trying to remember the night before. And then suddenly I did, and wished I didn't. It came back. ALL OF IT..
The call, the dinner, the ring, his declaration ... And more. Him, telling me that I was his oldest and dearest friend and the one person he knew would tell him the truth. Him, looking nervous and excited as he awaited my response. Me, recognizing what this meant to him. Me, laughing and congratulating him. Me, walking around the table and hugging him. Me, convincing him that *not* trying would be a point of regret for him if he doesn't. Him, finally agreeing with me...
It played out like a movie in my head. I kept thinking about that woman. The one who had supported and basically pushed him into the arms of another woman. She wasn't me. She couldn't be. Because I was in love with him and there was no possible way that I could have said the words I had.. Except it WAS me and I had said those words... And I would say them again, I realized.
I looked back at the numbers on the clock. It was three hours past the beginning of my shift. I picked up my phone and the expected 18 missed calls from my boss were waiting there. Just as I was about to fall back in bed, I felt my phone vibrate.
It was him.
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I blanked out again and woke up two hours later. And again, I recalled the fulll details of the conversation. Like a film being rolled back.
Him, hiMe, hi back"Last night was.. ""Yes, it was.""I wanted to thank you.. For last night.. For everything really.""It's alright. You would do the same for me. ""You can count on it. Just let me know when you meet that special guy.."
I choked/laughed/grunted/groaned all at once and we had hung up after.
I picked up my phone again. An additional 5 missed calls from my boss, one from my sister and 2 from a colleague.
And a text message from him. Just three words: She said yes!
And a text message from him. Just three words: She said yes!
I waited for the darkness. For it to engulf and protect me like it had before. But it didn't come. I waited, I hoped, I prayed and then I begged. But it didn't come. Instead came those annoying, frustrating tears and I wept. Did you know that there was a difference between crying and weeping?
My friend.
- J.
Wow!! I love this :) You should write a novel, I'll be in line to buy it. I was eager to read the next sentence all through.
ReplyDeleteThank you!! I really appreciate this.. Was unsure as i am just getting over my block! :)
DeleteThanks again.
- J.
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