How to get out of friend zone.

March 19, 2013 J. 0 Comments

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Now this one is for all those people who have been friend-zoned. The first step out as with most things is acceptance. Accept the fact that you have been friend-zoned when it happens, denial hardly gets you anywhere.

So to begin, I will explain the science behind the friend zone. Friend zone is often synonymous to safe zone. The object of your affections must have, due to an act of yours, mentally tagged you as safe. But rare is a person, particularly female, who really and honestly wants safe, irrespective of what they'll tell you. My point, walking into friend zone can be prevented.

Now this act could be something simple, depending on the individual,  but the most common I've seen is when comfort is offered to the other party in their time of need. For instance, I once had a guy comfort me after a big fight with one of my girlfriends. He sat with me, he listened, he comforted me and i loved him for it. Except somewhere in my mind I began to think of him in conjunction with words like "safe", "dependable", "nice guy" and "good FRIEND". I didn't intentionally do this, it was unconscious and instinctive.

I am not saying that you shouldn't offer comfort to him/her but rather that there is a line that once crossed, will tumble you neatly into the friend zone. Do not, for example, give relationship advice to this person. That's the big no-no. He/she is in a bad relationship, you can and will treat them better and you know this. What you need is for them to know this too. You don't do this by continuously being the listening ear to the woes of their present relationship and offering remedies. He/she has guy/girl friends for that. Of course sometimes this maneuver could work but more often that not, it won't.

Friendship between the two parties is important for a relationship to work. However maintaining the balance between friendship and romance is important if you want to be more than just friends. I cannot emphasize this enough!!

So you're now in the friend zone. You've already been dealt the "Friends Forever" card and might even have matching bracelets to show for it. Soon you'll be helping her paint her nails and helping her shop for lingerie you'll never see her in OR you'll be playing FIFA 13 with him while he tells everyone else that he'll marry the girl who does (helllooooo, you're right there!). My recipe for breaking off the shackles of friend zone is rather simple: Be a jerk.
Simple.

Once you're tucked into the friend zone, only a miracle can break you out. Short of that, what you'll need is a reset button of sorts. This person finds you safe, dependable and predictable. You love them and they know it. So you do the last thing they'll expect of you. Big enough to shock them, not too big that they never forgive you for it. Don't kill their dog for instance, that's just evil. You can go for subtle, like not having as much time for them as you used to. Or not agreeing with everything the way they want it. Or you could go for the biggy and just be a total douche. One hit is all it'll take to reset your status in their lives back to zero. They will be disappointed but this is good. You need them to be. Your action will crumble down all those beliefs of security and predictability that they relate to you, effectively unchaining you from the shackles of friend zone. How you go from there is all up to you. Just don't fall back into the friend zone - "Prevention is better than cure". This solution might not work more than once on the same person. It's a gamble, but what isn't after all?

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Juicy Raindrops!