Love
Once in a blue moon
I came back late enough to see the moon
hanging in the sky.
It was a new moon, I noticed
and even then I knew tonight was one of
those nights.
I went in, showered and ate – mechanically,
automatically
performing my ablutions and keeping to my
normal routine.
Then I made it to my room and it all came
flooding in
The night was of prom
Have you ever thought what a weird word
that is: prom.
Seems like it should be short for something
Like say, promise.
That would suit just nicely because it was
on such a night
That we made our promises.
That night, almost 10 years ago that we sat
side by side,
watching our friends dance, scream and
celebrate
the end of a phase of their lives.
I remember that night so vividly even after
all this time.
The lights in the hall were dim but I can
see the way you looked,
Remember the way I felt, the song that was
playing.
You said the words to me quietly,
so
quietly that if my head hadn’t been on your shoulder,
I would have missed it.
I looked up at you, you looked down at me.
I remember wondering if I had imagined it.
If perhaps I had been so much in the moment
that my overactive imagination
had decided to make a great night perfect.
But there was a question in your eyes, you
were waiting for me
I know because I have waited for you too
and just like that it all fit neatly -
Like a key in a lock.
The words “I love you” are a promise.
And that night we made each other a
promise.
Promises we both broke.
On nights like this, with a new moon
hanging overhead,
I think of the what-would-have-been’s and
wonder where we went wrong,
If we could have done things differently -
You would have said the right thing
and I would have done the right thing.
On nights like this,
I miss us something fierce.
The boy you were, the girl I was.
And I get so tempted to call you
Just to hear your voice, to see if i remember it right.
I wonder if you remember it all as clearly
as I do.
I wonder if you wonder about us at all on
these blue moon nights.
I wonder if you remember that we didn’t
fight for us
You were the loser who gave up too soon
and I was the arrogant one who wouldn’t
fight alone.
Then time passed as it does and we both
changed
and there was nothing left to come back to
even if we had wanted to.
You moved to another and then another
and I found bigger goals than simply being
the eternal love of your life.
I don’t regret loving you.
Even if I think that you and I were simply
a waste of potential.
But on nights like these,
I wonder where we would have been now
had
you been a storm weather-er and I a little braver.
J.
0 comments: