i am writing right now

because it has always been easy to write about you

and because I feel compelled to

after that sweet lane of memory we just strolled through.

i have been mad at you, furious even

i have hit you,

punched you,

kicked you,

thrown stuff at you

and have even come precariously close to hating you.

but the line is thin.

i have also loved you,

i have laughed at you, with you,

teased you,

adored you,

wanted you

and for a time, I chose you.

now we have a curious relationship

we stick to the same routine conversations every time

4days and 4weeks

bored out of our minds

unable to change

because at least we are together

at least we have each other

it is better than those long months we spent apart

so we will take what we can

and on those increasingly rare days,

we can even convince ourselves that we actually believe it.