Rip my heart out already!

November 16, 2024 J. 0 Comments

Rip my heart out already 

so I can move on

Because I have continued to (love you and) hold on to that promise.
My heart filled with hope and belief in that future you prophesied 
One where you and I would waltz once again like we did before
One, two three.. one, two three..

You told your friend to tell my friend to tell me
and somewhere along the way 
the message got lost to the narrative of others.
Now I know that you should have said it to my face.
Maybe then I wouldn’t still keep these traces of you here 

Make sure to rip it out in front of me and hold it in your bloody hands before my eyes
Seeing is believing, they say.
Don’t stand behind me
Don’t hide the scalpel behind your back and smile into my eyes
Don’t do anything to distract me from the beautiful horror of that moment.

How can I move on when you left me with words like “if we are meant to be..”?
My romantic heart dreamt up the rest of the story
And continued to wrap its strings around you
Hoping for a gold star for its loyalty when that time did come 
and our destiny led us back into each other's arms.
That stupid, stupid ball of nerves and muscle.

I do not want this fake hope anymore 

and I do not know how to shed it 

so I am pleading with you to do me this one last thing.. 

this one mercy..

Rip my heart out.. so I can move on.