The Calvins
Chronicles of The Calvins: Pilot
I received an early morning call from Janet. She and Kyle
had been at it again. This time I believe it had something to do with Kyle’s
latest girlfriend – by the way, this girlfriend could be either fictional or real.
With Kyle, you never really know.
Janet and Kyle are… they are special to me.
I have known and loved them my whole life and I would be the first to tell you
that they are the wackiest married couple you will ever have the good fortune
to meet. I think they symbolize what marriage is really like. They’ve been married a while now, no kids
yet thank goodness... but I look forward to the birth of any kids they might
have. I have a feeling we will get along pretty well.
The two words that come to mind when I
think of them are passion and love (followed closely by “psychotic”) but what
is love if not crazy, huh? I have never seen two people love the way they do –
for better or worse. They will fight (lord can they fight!!), they will
exchange words and even hurt each other, but boy, can they love! They kind of
remind me of Andy Capp and Flo though they would both royally trash me if they
knew I thought so (proving my point, don't you think?)
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Anyway, back to the call…
Apparently Janet had intercepted a message on Kyle’s phone. The message had included words like
“baby” and “love you”. When she had
confronted Kyle, he had done what men have been doing forever, even in the
presence of undeniable, irrefutable proof: he denied it.
All he achieved was to piss Janet off even more. Consequently, she had thrown a hair dryer (why is it
always a hair dryer?) at him and he had left the house.
Now the reason she had called was this: it
was 11pm and Kyle still hadn’t come home. It was late. There had been an attack
in one of the joints she knew he frequented and though she had repeatedly tried calling his
number, it hadn’t gone through. She didn’t care about ‘the bimbo’ anymore.
She just wanted to know that her husband was alive and unharmed.
Isn't it incredible how quickly our priorities
can change?
I was consoling her when Kyle returned
home. I bid her good night, was about to hang up when I heard her speaking to Kyle and realised that she
hadn’t hung up yet (probably thinking that I would). Now this was wrong but my curiosity
got the better of me so I listened.
At first I couldn't make out the words. Janet
was speaking and there was a wealth of panic and concern in her voice. I heard
Kyle convince her that he was fine and then there was silence. I assumed that
was the end of that and was about to hang up again when I heard Janet say,
“What is this?”
Kyle: “That’s just…”
But I never heard the end of it. There was
a loud thump, a howl and then silence. A couple of seconds later, I hung up and
went to bed.
The next day I visited the Calvins… and
pretended not to notice the black eye Kyle was sporting.
Juicy Raindrops!
N.B:
Weeks later, I will come to know that Janet
had found a napkin in Kyle’s pocket with a phone number and the words “Call me
maybe?” scribbled on it.
