Night,
I thought I was fine.
I really did.
When she told me, i thought I was fine.
For days.
Almost an entire week.
I should have known.
My vague reaction to such shocking news should have been a warning.
I should be able to recognise the signs by now.
Fully immersing myself in the fictional, magical world of books
Unwilling to leave my bed for days
Craving connection and yet denying myself,
Being overly bright and compensating when in company..
My mind was protecting me from the harsher emotions as usual.
Letting me feel them in small increments over time
so it doesn’t overload, short-circuit and crash.
So my heart doesn’t cease beating in shock.
1712100523
Juicy Raindrops! ♡
Delayed reaction
You know,
I really don’t like delayed reactions.
Sometimes the opportunity for some badass, epic comebacks is lost.
Other times you will be making your bed on a Wednesday afternoon
After forcefully pulling yourself out of it
and suddenly end up in a puddle on the floor
drowning in a pool of your own tears like Little Alice.
Sometimes the opportunity for some badass, epic comebacks is lost.
Other times you will be making your bed on a Wednesday afternoon
After forcefully pulling yourself out of it
and suddenly end up in a puddle on the floor
drowning in a pool of your own tears like Little Alice.
I thought I was fine.
I really did.
When she told me, i thought I was fine.
For days.
Almost an entire week.
And then today I broke down without warning.
I should have known.
My vague reaction to such shocking news should have been a warning.
I should be able to recognise the signs by now.
Fully immersing myself in the fictional, magical world of books
Unwilling to leave my bed for days
Craving connection and yet denying myself,
Being overly bright and compensating when in company..
My mind was protecting me from the harsher emotions as usual.
Letting me feel them in small increments over time
so it doesn’t overload, short-circuit and crash.
So my heart doesn’t cease beating in shock.
So I don’t end up clutching my blanket on the floor
barely able to take a full breath through rapid gasps
barely able to type through my tears.
barely able to take a full breath through rapid gasps
barely able to type through my tears.
1712100523
Juicy Raindrops! ♡
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