The Book of Night

The alchemist

November 16, 2023 J. 0 Comments


I disconnected completely from my old life 
I collected the shards and pieces of my broken heart 
I took all that pain and mess and became an alchemist.

I turned it all into fuel
Fuel that powered my art and ambitions 
And it burned for many years
But now it is all burned out 
I am not broken-hearted anymore
but I am shut down tighter than Fort Knox
No more inflow of pain
No more fuel
I’m all burned out 
So I can not focus 
I can not even live right 
What I’ve felt was missing lately 
It was the pain
It was my motivation
Now that it is all gone 
I do not know what to do
Because this was what I had to become to cope
My bodily functions are now powered by this particular brand of fuel
And I’m all out of it

I didn’t develop in the conventional way
I used a dark force to build my empire
And now that i have run out of it, 
I don’t know how to maintain what i have built 
I don’t know what other people use
And even if I did, my body would just reject it as unsuitable 
It has been many years now 
And i have come so far like this
How am i supposed to go on now?

0838201022
Juicy Raindrops! ♡


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