I took a sabbatical-type break from writing. I'd realised that i wrote more than i lived. I wrote about doing things, seeing things and feeling things that i wasn't actually doing. And with each passing day, the possibility of my actually experiencing it all was diminishing. Time was passing me by. 

And then my work got affected. Nothing i wrote made any kind of sense (not that it usually does), but this wasn't my normal insanity. The words seemed hollow and inappropriate. Like a terribly written biography, in that the author cannot even begin to understand the feelings of the subject. I was loosing my connection with the art. It didn't help that my university schedule was as crazy as they came either. Any breathing time i had was dedicated to sleep and 'Bleach'. (Wouldn't you sacrifice a few daily hours for Byakuya too?). Then came the bad news. It broke my heart, it did! *Sigh* But i digress.

After not writing (not including scientific essay reviews of course) for over two months i have come to an astounding conclusion. I would love to tell you that i had an epiphany or something of the sort, but i didn't. I did do, see and feel somethings. Some were pleasant enough while the others made me want to crawl back into my safe zone. But i didn't. Or rather i haven't. I'm still feeling my way through the maze. The further on i move, the more i realise that there isn't  a haven at the centre of the the labyrinth. As long as i want to move further and farther on, i am going to have to always 'dip a toe in the pool' first. There are no certainties. Not in this life anyway. I'm learning to be fine with that. I am also learning to free-fall. And to love and accept myself just the way i am. My new definition of perfect is 'HAPpY!' 

I am currently reading 'Cult of Osiris' by Andy McDermott. I came across it by accident and only after starting did i realise that it was the 5th book of a series. It doesn't ruin the story line at all and the books seem to be independent of each other so i guess i'll just carry on.

I don't think i'll be taking anymore 'leaves' from writing. I've missed it too damn much. 

Juicy RainDrops!