I seem to have perfected the art of pushing people out of my life. Yes i do it on purpose and yes it is for the best for them even if they don’t know it yet. But they will. They might never thank me for it but they will realise it someday. It is my burden that I have to realise it long before they do. It is my burden that I care for them enough to do it. It is my burden that i was sitting here at 02:34am unable to sleep.. and suddenly remembered the blog which i had abandoned for 3 years.

It is my burden that though i have these words burning in me right now; clawing to get out into the big bad world. I can’t remember my password and blogger has of course chosen this moment to be strict and therefore put my account on hold for 3-5 working days while they figure out whether or not i was trying to hack into my own account. It is my burden that i have to type this all out on my notes app and it may probably never make it to the blog in the end. It is my burden that those words are still clawing at my chest but i can’t let them out now because i am bitching about blogger. It is my burden that the words will not come out tonight after all and i will read my novel until the cock crows and i finally crash into a dreamless exhaustive slumber... like always.