revisiting a decision

December 23, 2013 J. 0 Comments

..

i think that by now it has already been established that i will leave.. but eventually i will find my way back here. it just happened again.

So, Christmas is in 2days.. WHERE THE HELL DID ALL THE TIME GO? I had all these big plans. well, not really. my so-called big plans included and were limited to reading novels and just doing nothing at all. which is really all i've done for the last two months so, check and check.

SOURCE

i thought i would eventually get tired of doing nothing productive and honestly i have moments when i just want to scream from the boredom of it all.. but then i find a new book or tv show and i'm fine again. i really am a simple person you know.

so remember i mentioned a surprise i wanted to share... well here it is: i'm going to take the MCAT.. in March hopefully. i could spend the next hour or so telling you when, how and why when it can be very simply summarized in three words: I WANT THIS!

i graduated, i started my youth's service to my country (NYSC), i looked around and thought, "Huh!". i didn't feel the satisfaction that should have come from it all, much to my parent's chagrin.

maybe i let fear of the unknown lead me. maybe i had unconsciously started listening to voices around me that were telling me what a woman is supposed to do next. maybe it was supposed to happen this way - let it go and then return - isn't that the way of love? i dont have the right answer. i only know what i want.

i might not get into med school, particularly because i will be applying to only one school. i know what i want. and if i don't get in then i'll know. i cant keep living with the uncertainty; wondering if i sold myself short.

so there. surprise! :)


Juicy Raindrops!