Night,

Late night confession

December 10, 2020 J. 0 Comments


I don’t usually make the popular decision. Or the easy one. But I always know that it’s the right one. Even when I don’t like it. Even when it leads to moments like these when I am scrolling through my phone looking for who to call. I know who I want to talk to and therefore no body else will do. 

But I am still scrolling.  

You see, this is what I meant when I told you that I had to learn to live without you before you left. Because I know myself more than you ever will. And I know that you mean enough that your absence will leave a space. A space that will be felt. Because I am a feeler, I’ll feel it more than most. Yes, more than even you. No matter that you think your feelings are greater than mine now. I just listen to you and I smile inside. 
Like I said, I know me more than you. 

And now here I am. 

Watching the rain and missing you. I know you probably hate me now and I can live with that. I know you’d hate me more for that... and I can live with that too. I know I broke your heart. But there was never any chance of a future for us and you know that as well as I do. And I have played these games before and I don’t give my heart anymore. 

You think now that our time together were the best days of your life but you’re young. And you’ll see a hundred better days. So don’t glorify those days or put them on a pedestal. You’ll only smear this new beginning of yours. 
Don’t remember me. 
Live your life.
Be happy.
 
Don’t remember me at all.
Because Lord knows if i could, I wouldn’t remember you either. 

Juicy Raindrops! ♡
For Abe 
2049/290620

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