I'll wait for you..

May 05, 2011 J. 0 Comments

For a while now I've had a friend who has been, shall we say, down-on-her-luck. First she lost someone very special to her and (this is really bad) I didn't know what to do. I was there, but that was all there was to it. I couldn't tell her that I felt her pain and understood what she was going through because that would have been a lie and we'd both know it. I tried to get her to talk about it, sometimes I prevailed and other times I didn't. I didn't want her to feel crowded and neither did I want her to be alone so I prayed and hoped that she would get to a point where she could smile again, and know that those memories that she has, the feelings she's got, were hers and those wouldn't be taken away. I really wanted that for her. She struggles. and I see it and I'm helpless.

I really really hope she's reading this. Because I miss her, and call me selfish but I want her back. But I know she isn't.. right now she's probably out on the swing, alone. Looking and feeling like the only person on the planet. I love you too much to be thinking of you in such terms. It tears at me Lola.. Breaks me in two. Because half of me wants to kick your ass and the other half wants to hold you in my arms and protect you.

I hope you find whatever it is that you need that will get you out of the dark place you're in. It kills me to know that I'm not it, but I will pray that you find it so you can return to me. I'll keep a light out for you.. A beacon, so you can always find your way back home.

♡♡♡