braddie,
so party plans for tonight are cancelled. i cant muster the energy to smile, laugh and dance. not today. i have a migraine anyway..
.. but i also have a conscience. i couldn't back out on her. i mean i could, but i wont. whose fault is it that i cant seem to make sense of anything? definitely not hers.
i'm just tired. i wanna go back home. i mean my REAL home. in the midst of my haploid donors and their other successfully fertilized embryos. either that or move to the mountains. i'm messed up right now.. definitely NOT good company but i have a Madear in my head. And what i can hear her saying is, "Suck it up and shut the fuck up. Life will always push you down. what you need to do is take control and push it harder, dress up and have a great time tonight. if you don't, you lose and they win. which do you want?"
Did i mention that i was wearing the cutest blazer tonight with my favorite stilettos? oh! and the most adorable earrings. will be sure to post a picture. I hope that answers your question Madear.
Juicy RainDrops! ♡
Rotten luck.
i'm not having a good day. not even bearable. i went out for some last minute shopping, withdrew some cash and (here's the kicker) LOST IT! That was the trigger my system needed to crash. i have been teetering on the edge for a while now. barely hanging by the thread but i fought it. i wouldnt let the vast but minute problems in my life outweigh the good. precious moments and all that. but i cant do it anymore. i fight it but life just seems to knock me down harder. and i have no more fight left in me. i want to just curl up in my room for the next decade or so. maybe even longer. i try to be a good person - do the right thing, say the right thing - most of the time, so i cant understand how i keep getting knocked out. maybe i should change sides.so party plans for tonight are cancelled. i cant muster the energy to smile, laugh and dance. not today. i have a migraine anyway..
.. but i also have a conscience. i couldn't back out on her. i mean i could, but i wont. whose fault is it that i cant seem to make sense of anything? definitely not hers.
i'm just tired. i wanna go back home. i mean my REAL home. in the midst of my haploid donors and their other successfully fertilized embryos. either that or move to the mountains. i'm messed up right now.. definitely NOT good company but i have a Madear in my head. And what i can hear her saying is, "Suck it up and shut the fuck up. Life will always push you down. what you need to do is take control and push it harder, dress up and have a great time tonight. if you don't, you lose and they win. which do you want?"
Did i mention that i was wearing the cutest blazer tonight with my favorite stilettos? oh! and the most adorable earrings. will be sure to post a picture. I hope that answers your question Madear.
Juicy RainDrops! ♡
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